Oblivious
by Emerald Lotus
Summary: "Oblivious was a more accurate description. Yeah that's what I was" Ben's thoughts after the events of the episode Forge of Creation.


Paradox had dropped us off in Bellwood not too long ago. He had secured Aggregor, and told us not to worry too much. Then he vanished. Gwen and I remained quiet as we stood in my driveway. I'm not sure how long we stood there in silence. I watched Gwen for a few moments. She was just staring at the cracks in ground.

"Want me to drive you home?" I asked finally. I just realized that my car was sitting in the street; I guess Paradox moved it there from the Rust Bucket.

"Sure, thanks," she said. I walked over and opened the passenger door. After she was seated I walked around to the driver's seat. The fifteen minute drive to her house was quiet. I pulled up to the curb, and she got out. Gwen bent down and looked in through the window, a weak smile on her lips. "Thanks Ben, um I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure, call me if you need anything," she began to walk away. "And Gwen... don't worry we'll figure this out," I said, trying to reassure her. She nodded and walked into her house. Gwen was strong, but I knew that she was about to break down.

I made a u-turn in the street to go back home. On the way I stopped for a smoothie, it was something to keep me busy. But I eventually brought it back to my house, not wanting to be in public anymore.

When I got home I went up to my room because my parents weren't there. I hated when I was alone because it gave me time to think, and for me that could be a dangerous pastime, especially today. So many things had happened that I couldn't help but think of them.

It was definitely fun at first, and strange. I got to see my ten year old self. Man, I was so obnoxious, and stir crazy when I was a child. It made me laugh, but as my younger self made Gwen the butt of his jokes Kevin brought up a good point.

"Everything's not a game. What we do is important, if you can't see that maybe you are just a kid," he said staring seriously at my ten year old counterpart.

"You think I don't know? When it's hero time, if I mess up somebody could die. From what you've told me, if we mess up this time everybody could die."

"That's right," Gwen said solemnly.

"Maybe that's too much to have in your head when you have to win. Maybe if I pretend everything is a big joke, when the time comes I'll be able to do what I have to do," my younger self finished. I had never told anyone that, but I could see why he did.

Then Gwen turned toward me. "Is that why you're so arrogant all the time? Because you're scared?" She was much too bright sometimes, and for once I wished she hadn't caught on.

I wasn't arrogant or at least I tried not be. I'm sure that my attitude came off that way most of the time though. Maybe I was more overconfident if anything always carrying on that all of this was a big joke and that none of this was serious. It was mostly subconscious, a defense mechanism that I came up with to protect myself. It was a way to cope with the daily routine of facing threats and putting your life at risk.

Oblivious was a more accurate description. Yeah that's what I was. Day after day I never thought about all of the great things that I do. I didn't think of the benefits or the consequences. And it certainly never occurred to me that if I ever messed up that it could spell disaster in a variety of different ways. I didn't think about the fact that lives were at risk every time I pushed down on the face of the Omnitrix.

I never thought that maybe one day I would have to face my foe, turned friend, turned foe again. Especially not after a year and a half of battles where the Universe was at stake twice… well three times now. I was unaware that possibly tomorrow I could receive a distress call from the Plumbers alerting me of his actions. I didn't think about what I would do when I answered that call. I wasn't worried that my friend, whom I've come to think of as a brother of sorts, could possibly crush me or that I would do the same to him.

I didn't think about how the decision to take care of this was ripping me apart. This was partially my fault after all. I inadvertently gave Kevin the idea to absorb all that power, and I was too weak to stop Aggregor myself.

I never thought that I would care that much about him. I didn't think about what the outcome might be like. How would Gwen react and would she be okay with whatever we might have to do in the end? Would Kevin ever be okay? Would I be able to live with the choices I will inevitably have to make? We've had so many great times together, and I know Kevin was happy around us. He said that Gwen and I had changed his life. I don't want to fail, and lose all that.

So here I sit, in my bedroom staring at the wall sipping idly at the smoothie in my hand. Not thinking about any of it because I was oblivious.

* * *

**Okay, so here's another piece related to the Forge of Creation episode. Ben's supposed to be speaking like he's in denial in the middle section, or sort of sarcastically. I hope that was clear enough. Please let me know in a review what you think. The more constructive it is the better! Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings...I can take it. :)**

**Thanks,**

**Emerald Lotus**


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